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Dynasty Warriors 10
Amazing upcoming features! Behold the amazing new intro featuring Lu Bu having nearly defeated Cao Cao (Zhao Zhao who?) in close combat as Zhao Yun arrives flying on a giant burning bird dropping at the speed of a meteor crashing upon Lu Bu while creating a giant earthquake which LITERALLY shatters HALF OF THE PLANET! Then drool as Lu Bu has easily blocked it all while saying "Hmpf! Almost decent!" with his body language, ALL THIS as the screen changes to every single character uniting, charging and firing giant magical lasers from their weapons hitting some random castle! Then behold as a giant Zhao Zhao (Cao Cao who?) and Sun Jian arrive from the castle laughing evilly with their eyes burning red and firing lasers as Sun Ce`s gay smile fades, YES THIS TIME HE IS SERIOUS! and teleports towards a random army led by Sima Yi which is crying while holding a baby! The screen begins spinning with flames and water as the Dynasty Warriors 9 logo shows up (Featuring a still image of Liu Bei hugging and lifting Dian Wei in the air while a peasant cheers, Liu Bei`s (formerly) awesome armor and crown still does not fit his new, skinny fucking ugly model, changing it is expensive you know!... BUT WHO CARES LOOK AT THE INTRO VISUALS!) What does this have to do with the game? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Also... It says Dynasty Warriors 9, but it is the tenth, we just cant be bothered to change it from the Japanese version, we already copy pasted the logo from the fourth game (now that is some serious fanservice!) -Perform crazy combos at the press of a single button, just once for 360 hit combos, twice for 600.000 Hit combos, and three times to perform a 800.000.000.000.000 Combo! Leaving Musuo attacks completely worthless! (but they been that for years anyways) -Featuring thousands of ready-to-be-broken promises! For that old, nostalgic feeling. -You like Lu Bu? Now ALL characters get Lu Bu`s moveset and weapons! Lu Bu uses a generic sword in this game btw! Yeah maybe we can add other weapons for officers, but that would cost us at least 40 dollars to produce, but you know... Since its you, we will sell it to you to the reduced price of 80 dollars for each weapon (all additional weapons feature the generic sword weapon and moveset, why have one generic sword for each character when you can have two! Three! As many as you want to buy! -69+ brand new tracks so generic you will think you are just listening to one all along! Also brand new Lu Bu remix available for download! (Comes together with Lu Bu, Diao Chan, and Dong Zhuo for only 30USD for the whole package! For each character in the package!) -You can now pursue Lu Bu, we made even him so weak that you can just push any button and he dies making you feel like you totally earned something for nothing!!! -A giant world filled with... Trees, plants and nothing much. -New Speed Battle System: Beat any scenario pressing three buttons over and over again! A total of 90483749 exciting button presses and you win the the game! -Now featuring actual A.I when playing on Very Hard mode!, watch as your opponents intelligently attack your allies (sometimes, only during nighttime when you are sleeping) while they intelligently know you are the main character and just stand there! (Dynasty Warriors 10: Extreme Legends also feature blocking animations! Not actual blocking though, not until Dynasty Warriors 404: Domain no longer exist edition) -Now you still have ZERO chance at defeating your enemies on Chaos mode! Because they just stand there with... 900 billion times the health! -Yes Dynasty Warriors ten will be what we promised that nine would be, and what we promised eight would be, and what we promised seven would be... Lets not even mention 6 we got enough cra... FANTASTIC GAMES! Here already! -New Excitement Plus Adventure Legends type extreme heavenly kingdom`s mode allows you to pick one character, and play the game with no story! -Future English Translations coming out 2000Never! (We mean... After we and you forget about it, promise!) -Featuring top quality Chinese voices! (Will also be removed during a future patch, in fact we will fix all giant fatal errors and disgusting mistakes in this game, removing all voices entirely!" (except the constant background screaming going "RoaarghAroaharohahrohohara!" (even though you are literally fighting two enemies) -As promised we removed ALL guards with shields, and kept it! Now behold as we give EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER a shield! -This game will feature HD versions of Dynasty Warriors 2-4... Eventually, like... Someday. -Have fun translating the Japanese text! Because we no longer find as many willing retarded cumbucket scum to do that for us for free anymore! (Do you realize how expensive it is to have this game translated? Nearly 50 bucks! Yeah! How can we possibly charge 90 bucks for each game and a season pass offering broken promises if we pay 50 bucks to have this piece of shi...Fantastic game translated! Featuring Brand new Characters such as: -Suchmah Dich: Another character with the generic sword weapon! DLC -Fuuk Yooh: Yet another character with the fabled generic sword weapon! DLC -Cook suc erh: Yet ANOTHER character with the legendary generic sword weapon! DLC -Fapp Youh: This amazing lady has an all unique combat style featuring each and every single move from the miraculous generic sword weapon! (Weapon featured generic sword weapon) DLC Henta iadyrong This brave lady was known for refusing to wear clothes, flopping her giant breasts around as ancient gamer zoomed their camera on her breasts and vagina! Now fully clothed! DLC -Did not enjoy our latest map? Too big? Too empty? Now enjoy two different maps! One of China during summer! And another of Chine during Summer! Amazing season pass offers: Now only 269 dollars for expansion pass including these amazing offers and benefits! -Got the game but no characters? We solved the problem with many characters by offering you to buy your favorites instead!'' (Disclaimer: Assuming your favorites are Dong Zhuo and generic peasants, which are the characters available for this years purchase!) -Six new tracks especially created, designed and crafted for this game particularly made and perfectly fprged while composed by the legendary famous world renowned great, blazing incredibly skilled, talented and skilled musical art composers Sum Randuum Ducher and Whou Givuhs Afuuk!!! -Need actual skins for your newly bought character? Tired of enjoying the invisible wireframes you bought? With this season pass you get up to THREE free skins for the reduced price of 30 bucks each! (disclaimer, skins for Dong Zhuo, Meng Huo, and generic peasant, price doubles for each character bought due to... DLC transport fees! -Over 60.000 completely free screensaver images for a total value of 6000USD! (disclaimer: All amazing images taken straight from the game you just bought! The license to use it anyways) -DLC Only 80 player duel mode! 78 players wildly await their turn while you play face off in a duel, or rather a game of who can press the button first! Combo your live opponents until they lose all of their health! (Feature: Once the nearly 10 second long duel ends, you, your opponent and all of those waiting are kicked out of the server... FUN!) -Obligatory disclaimer: Online not working properly allowing only one person at the time to enter the "Super exciting destructive battleground arena supreme! 80 players suite" offline... We have to patch the whole thing out, but we had been planing this since the beginning so dont sweat it! - New exciting, never seen before original DLC scenarios such as - "The never seen before Yellow Turban Rebellion event" can you defeat the newcomer Zhang Jiao and his two never seen before brothers as they unleash wind spells which gently push you away! Thunderstorms remove up to 0.0000002 percent of life an hour for even the most stalwart warriors!, face meteors from the sky which damage you up to a whole percent each! (Relax there is only two and they spawn healing items after their impact, each impact healing your character fully) and ice storms chilling even the bravest of hearts! It slows down even your enemies! (Not you though) This amazing never seen before classic scenario in a "complete package" with everything you need to play it for the measly sum of 90USD! (pay 120USD as our "reverse discount" if you own the season pass) Music, sounds,skins, models, voices, music sold separately. (You already bought the complete package? Aww :( Sounds, models, skins and etc not available in locations such as Asia, Europe, America and etc) Did you get the "scenario activate module?" It allows you to start ANY scenario from now on for the low low price of 79 USD for each activation! -Hu Lao gate: Lu Bu awaits you! (disclaimer: If you unlock the character as an active opponent at the cheap price of 60 dollars DLC, can you behold his amazing theme? (only 30USD) watch and enjoy his incredible introduction clip (40 USD) as his theme (90USD plus the 30 above!) starts playing properly! (official proper patch 100USD) Now are you actually ready to play the level? (50USD) with the actual in game music? (20USD) be careful though! Diao Chan (00USD character not available) can seduce even the toughest of men! (Level not loading, missing character file Diao Chan, attempt hotfix for 40 USD? Thank you for your transaction! Hotfix did not work try again for 40 dollars? Today`s reverse discount offer! Hotfix for 60USD? Category:Dynasty Warriors Category:Sequels